Select up to 7 pieces of the green highlighting and add them to the ‘notes’ section using the Note Writing Text Tool. Teachers can model this activity with their class.

Then in the notes highlight the language feature in each quotation, which helps create tension or drama.

Finally, note the language feature and its effect on the reader.

E.g. Terrible adjective- we know what happened is awful and not knowing exactly what it is builds tension.

I would have stayed in the mines, I suppose, had I not witnessed a terrible thing. It happened after I had been there fifteen years. I had been given a much better job, as an assistant to a blaster. They would not give us blasting jobs, as that was a job the white men kept for themselves, but I was given the job of carrying explosives for a blaster. This was a good job and I liked the man I worked for. He had left something in a tunnel once – his tin can in which he carried his sandwiches – and he had asked me to fetch it. So I set off down this tunnel where he had been working. The tunnel was lit by bulbs, but you still had to be careful because here and there were great galleries which had been blasted out of the rock. These could be two hundred feet deep and men fell into them from time to time. I turned a corner in this tunnel and found myself in a round chamber. There was a gallery at the end of this and a warning sign. Four men were standing at the edge of this gallery and they were holding another man by his arms and legs. As I came around the corner, they threw him over the edge and into the dark. The man screamed something about a child. Then he was gone. I stood where I was. The men had not seen me yet, but one turned around and shouted out in Zulu. Then they began to run towards me. I turned and ran back down the tunnel. I knew that if they caught me I would follow their victim into the gallery. It was not a race I could let myself lose.

In the notes highlight the language feature in each quotation, which helps create tension or drama.

Finally, note the language feature and its effect on the reader.

E.g. Terrible adjective- we know what happened is awful and not knowing exactly what it is builds tension.

Using your notes, write your answer. Look at the mark scheme’s top bands to see what’s expected first.


Mark Scheme Bands

Give 7-8 marks to those who make accurate comments about how a range of different examples create tension and drama,and begin to analyse how language and the organisation of events are used to achieve effects and influence the reader, e.g. the writer’s language highlights the drama unfolding and the danger Obed will face, “still had to be careful”, "men fell into them”, “warning sign”. Subject terminology is used accurately to support comments effectively.

Give 9-10 marks to those who make accurate and perceptive comments about how a wide range of different examples create tension and drama, and provide detailed analysis of how language and the organisation of events are used to achieve effects and influence the reader, e.g. the danger Obed will encounter is foreshadowed by the “warning sign” he sees. Subtleties of the writer’s technique are explored in relation to how the reader is influenced. Well-considered, accurate use of subject terminology supports comments effectively.

Success Criteria:

  • Chronological- track through the text discussing points in the order things happen.
  • Use the key words from the question: ‘the writer’/ ‘tension’/ ‘drama’ to form sentences and to stay focused on the question.
  • Lead by identifying the EVIDENCE which is dramatic or tense.
  • For every piece of EVIDENCE, select the language feature and label it suggesting what EFFECT it has on the reader in order to build the TENSION OR DRAMA.
  • Try to make it clear that you know what is happening in the lines by adding details to the quotes- i.e. what happened just before.
  • Aim to discuss 6/7 ideas in this way.
  • End by offering an OVERVIEW- mention how the OVERALL STRUCTURE or TONE has added to the TENSION or DRAMA.

Help

The first way Smith builds tension is by stating that Obed witnessed a ‘terrible thing”. The deliberate use of the adjective ‘terrible’ foreshadows that whatever he saw was awful although as readers we do not know what that is yet thereby building tension. The next way Smith builds tension is by using…

The use of the... creates tension because…